Title: Shouting Lies Across Seas of Misunderstanding
Author: Rose
Pairing Jared/Jensen
Rating NC-17
Words 28,900-ish
Warnings/Enticements Mpreg, knotting, A/B/O dynamics, scene of nonexplicit noncon
Summary: At the tender age of twelve Jensen unexpectedly went into heat and was the victim of a brutal attack, the result of which was pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage. Twenty years later Jensen is happily married to his Alpha, Jared Padalecki. For the past several months they have been trying for a child only to be dealt with false hopes and ultimately the devastating news that Jensen is unlikely to conceive. A moment of passion changes everything but will a few misspoken words rip away everything Jensen has ever wanted?
Author’s Notes: Written for the 2014 [livejournal.com profile] spnmpregbb. For more extensive Author's Notes, see the Fic MasterPost



Jensen’s fingers clenched and unclenched around the steering wheel. He had been sitting in his car for the last hour, maybe more, working up the courage to get out and head up to Jeff’s office and hand in his resignation. He had been calling Jared both on his cell and at his office for the past few days, each passing day more and more intermittently. While he wanted Jared to come back, wanted them to try and work things out he recognized when he was fighting a losing battle. Jared had passed his judgment and wanted nothing more to do with Jensen. While Jensen’s heart was broken it was for his daughter he felt the most pain, not ever to know her other father and what a good man he was. Now Jensen was putting in motion a plan to try and move on with his life. He would move away from Dallas, find a place somewhere, settle down to raise his daughter. He figured he would get some kind of settlement in a divorce. Texas was a community property state so Jared wouldn’t be able to take everything from him. He took out his cell and dialed the number to Jared’s office.

“Jared Padalecki’s office, how can I help you?” His assistant Alexis answered.

“It’s Jensen again.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Padalecki, but the other Mr. Padalecki hasn’t been in yet. Would you like to leave another message?”

“No, no message, thank you. Can you tell me the last time he was in his office?”

“End of business day Tuesday.”

“Thank you.” Jensen ended the call. Tuesday. That had been the day everything went to hell. Jared seemed to have gone to ground. Jensen’s stomach twisted with worry. It was unlike Jared to be inaccessible to his clients. He wondered if Jeff had heard from him or his sister Megan. They probably had. Jared had probably told them the whole sordid story. The whole office probably knew. The idea of seeing the angry glares or snide whispers behind his back was almost enough to keep him from ever going into the high-rise again, but it had to be done. With Herculean effort he uncurled his fingers from the steering wheel. He grabbed the envelope containing the resignation letter he had spent the better part of two days composing. If he was thinking about the letter he was not thinking about Jared and the fact that his marriage was over or the look of unfathomable sadness and betrayal on Jared’s face as he had said “this is the very last thing I would have ever expected of you”.

He took the elevator from the parking garage in splendid solitude. The doors opened onto the eighteenth floor, the floor that housed Jeff, Jared’s and Jensen’s offices as well as a couple of other top account executives. Feeling jittery he walked down the hall. His new burgundy Versace suit was tailored to fit his pregnant body, not hide it. He got a few stunned looks at his belly, a few smiles and a couple of people offered congratulations. Jensen accepted them all as gracious as he could, feeling marginally better about things. It would seem Jared hadn’t told anyone of their private matter, not that they ever aired their private family dramas at the office before. They always kept things professional at the office, except for the night they conceived their daughter, but that wasn’t technically a work day. That didn’t mean he hadn’t confided in his big brother Jeff. Jeff and Jared always were close and Jensen was not looking forward to the reception he would receive if Jared had indeed told him. If he was honest he was kind of terrified of Jeff’s reaction. Jeff was even bigger than Jared, and as Jared was six foot five, that was saying something, and not as even-tempered as Jared.

The door to the CEO’s outer office was open. Jensen peered inside to see Jeff’s executive assistant, Katie, at her desk typing rapidly on her computer, gaze focused on her work. There was a woman in a lavender pantsuit with a black portfolio waiting on the crème colored couch. Jensen was not sure if he should just go into Jeff’s office without permission, though he was still employed here. In the end he cleared his throat to catch Katie’s attention.

“Mr. Padalecki will be with you momentarily, Ms. Ferris,” she said with an edge of irritation in her voice.

“Katie,” Jensen said softly.

She looked away from her computer. Her eyes widened when she took in his pregnant belly. She stood and hugged him. “Oh, Jensen, how wonderful! When are you due?”

“Spring. May. Is Jeff in?”

“Sure is.”

Jensen exhaled as he approached the door to Jeff’s inner sanctum. His hand shook as he gripped the knob.

Jeff was behind his massive walnut desk on the phone. “You’re being an ass. I hope you know that.” There was a beep as he ended the call and a clatter as he tossed his Galaxy on the desk. Jensen swallowed, not sure what to make of the tail end of the conversation he had walked in on.

“That was your husband, by the way.” Jeff’s gaze traveled to Jensen’s belly, but his face was impassive. “He told me you were a cheating bastard and had gotten knocked up by some other guy.”

Jensen ignored that, but his eyes watered at the harsh words. “I came to give you this.” He held out the envelope containing his resignation letter.

Jeff stood to his full impressive height and came around the desk. He took the envelope from Jensen, opened it, and took out the letter. He pulled out a pair of glasses from his breast pocket, perched them on his nose and began to read. As he read, his brows came together in a frown and his mouth turned down. When he was done he peered at Jensen from over the rims of his glasses. “No.”

“No?”

“No, I don’t accept your resignation. Jared is off brooding in his Fortress of Solitude somewhere, and now you’re gonna try and do the same thing. Both of you are asses then.”

Jensen shook his head, feeling like he had been picked up and plucked down in another conversation. “I’ve tried to talk to him! He won’t answer my calls!”

“Give him some time. He’s hurting.”

“I’m hurting, too!” Jensen was aware he didn’t really have much of a leg to stand on. He had been pushing Jared away for months, sneaking, to use Jared’s word, around to make OB/Andro appointments.

What other conclusion could Jared come to? If he trusted me it never would have entered his mind this wasn’t his baby. That argument led him back to putting the blame on himself. He should have told him as soon as he found out he was pregnant, things would be so very different. “My husband left me and I didn’t do anything.” He knew that wasn’t exactly true, but he was innocent of what Jared had so cruelly accused him of.

Jeff sighed, leaned back against his desk, crossed his legs at the ankles. “I know, and now that he’s stopped acting like an Alpha who just popped his knot, he knows it too. He’s ashamed of the way he acted, the things he said.”

“I miss him.” He sounded like a small child.

Jeff sighed heavily, fixed Jensen with an empathetic gaze. “You two are so in love with each other it’s sickening. I think you’ll work it out. You’re made for each other. And about this,” he shook the letter of resignation. “I’m going to put you on extended paternity leave. You’re pretty far along and need to avoid stress. I want my nephew or niece—”

“Niece.”

Jeff smiled, bright like Jared but lacking the dimples. “I want my niece to be nice and big and healthy.”

“Thanks, Jeff.”

“We’re a family business, Jensen. Tend to your family.”

* * *



The soon-to-be-nursery looked like the newborn and infant department at Babies R Us had exploded. He thought he should finally do some preparations for his daughter’s impending arrival while he was still relatively mobile. As he was heading into his seventh month he was noticing that he was steadily gaining weight, belly getting bigger and he was starting to tire easily. Jensen sat on the bed surrounded by all the baby’s new things, cutting off tags and neatly folding and organizing them. He had at least a couple of dozen sets of clothes, some for the warmer weather and some for cooler temperatures, onesies of every color and design, booties, hats, bibs, rattles, and binkies. He splurged on a navy blue Danzo Diaper bag, and bought a carseat and stroller.

He had paint swatches of various shades of blue, mint green, yellow pinned to the walls, and pictures of the baby furniture he thought he’d want to buy. He would need some help getting the current furnishings moved out. It gave him a sense of pride and accomplishment getting his home ready for his daughter. He wondered if this was what was referred to as “nesting”. If it was that wasn’t all it was. He knew some of this was retail therapy to take his mind off the state of his marriage. He had yet to hear from his estranged husband despite Jeff’s reassurances that Jared would come around. Ashamed or not, Jared should man up. What about your part in all this, Jensen, a snide voice asked. After all he was not completely blameless. Jensen told that voice to shut up.

From somewhere underneath the clothing and accessories yet to be folded and sorted Jensen could hear his phone trilling. He dug around until he felt to cool smooth glass of the touch screen. His breath caught in his chest when he saw that Jared was calling. He swiped to answer.

“Hello?”

Silence, then a soft, uncertain, “Hi, Jen.”

Jensen exhaled, eyes closing as Jared’s deep familiar voice crackled in his ear. He hadn’t realized how much he needed to hear Jared’s voice, to know he was okay. He opened his eyes and fought for calm. “Hi.” It came out more watery and strangled than he would have liked.

“Are you okay?” both men asked at the same time.

“Are you okay?” Jared asked again.

Jensen licked his lips, touched the baby Tigger on the front of a tiny t-shirt. “Okay. Considering.” After a beat he asked, “You?”

“I miss you. Jensen, I’m sorry.” Jared’s voice cracked. The line was quiet but for Jared’s shaky breathing but when he spoke again he sounded calmer. “There’s no excuse for how I acted. You think…can I come see you?”

Jensen swallowed, emotion swelling in his chest making his throat tight. Jared wasn’t completely to blame here, but he’s the one who left. He was the one who believed the worst in Jensen and that still cut deep. But it was more than that. Jared had scared Jensen in a way he hadn’t been scared in two decades and that shook something in him he thought was unshakeable—the knowledge that Jared would never hurt him, now he wasn’t so sure. “I don’t…I’m not ready to see you yet. You scared me, Jared. There is a dent in our bedroom wall that you put there.”

Jared was quiet for so long Jensen wondered if the connection hadn’t been lost. “I understand and I’m sorry. You can never know how much. The look in your eyes…” He was crying, Jensen could hear it in his voice, the little tremor and wet sound around the edges of his words. “Can I call again tomorrow then? I wanna hear your voice.”

Jensen smiled, as he petted his belly, their daughter getting a bit more active. “I’d like that, Jare.”


The next night, as Jensen was sitting down to dinner his phone rang. A little charge of anticipation zinged through him at the thought of hearing Jared’s voice. “Hey, Jen,” Jared sounded tired.

Jensen’s knit in a frown of concern. “Hey, you okay?”

Jared sighed. “Yeah. I had lunch with Natalia Cordova and Genevieve Cortese. They own a string of high-end fashion boutiques and Genevieve kept clamoring for my attention, and I don’t mean in my professional capacity. I kept showing my wedding ring, mentioning my pregnant husband, but she didn’t care.”

A jealousy flared white-hot in Jensen. “Bitch.” The word was out of Jensen’s mouth before he could stop it.

Jared laughed, low and sexy. “Rowrrr, those pregnancy hormones are makin’ you fierce. I like.”

When it came to Jared, Jensen could be just as territorial as an Alpha. “Did they sign with our agency?” Jensen figured if they had he was going to have to go back to work, mark his territory.

“I told them I didn’t think we could meet their needs. Lotta double talk at that lunch. I think I need a rape shower.” A heavy silence fell between them. “Shit, Jensen. I’m sorry.” He exhaled sharply. “I seem to be saying that a lot lately.”

“S’okay.” Jared hadn’t meant anything by it and most of the time Jensen managed not to think about what had happened to him all those years ago. He refused let it haunt him and be defined by it. To do so was to give his attackers (who had only served a total of eight months in a juvenile detention center) more power over him. “What are you doing tonight?”

“Got some copy to go over. At some point I should order room service.”

“Where are you staying anyway?”

“Got a suite at the Hyatt. You know, when I came back in to the office Jeff tore me a new one for acting like “an ignorant knothead”.”

“Well, was he wrong?” Jensen grinned.

“No, not at all. I needed that kick in my ass. How are you feeling?”

“Good to fair.” He liked that Jared was interested in how he was doing but if they were going to try and put their relationship back together they needed to talk about what went wrong. Jared had looked devastated when he thought Jensen was pregnant by someone else, but he had told Jensen he didn’t want kids. “Are we ever going to talk about it?” Jensen said voice cool and even.

There was a long pause, the shuffling sound as Jared shifted, uncomfortable with the question or making himself comfortable. “Don’t you think we should do that face to face?”

Jensen swallowed. His eyes drifted to the dent in the wall Jared’s fist had made. That could have been his face or, God forbid, his abdomen had Jared not reined in his Alpha temperament at the last few seconds. “No.” After a beat he said, “you know this is your baby.”

Yes.” Emphatic, no hesitation at all in answering. “That night in my office, right? The night of the party?”

Jensen blushed. “Yeah.”

“That makes you due in, what,” there was a pause while Jared did mental math. “A couple months?”

Jensen’s hand stroked over his stomach. “About. I’m 28 weeks now.”

“Why did you push me away, Jensen? Did I do something wrong?”

“You said you didn’t want kids, Jared.”

“What? No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did. After Dr. McCoy told us because of the scarring in my womb we might not be able to have kids. You said you didn’t want them anyway.”

“I said I wasn’t sure I wanted them. Not that it matters anyway. It was clearly the wrong thing to say, and not at all what I meant. You were putting so much pressure on yourself and it was tearing me up to see you so dejected each time a test came back negative. I never meant for you to think I didn’t want kids or that I wouldn’t be anything but thrilled that you were pregnant. I just wanted you to know that I’d love you regardless…still do.” Jared’s voice was like warm honey, soothing something deep in Jensen’s soul. Jared wanted their baby.

He closed his eyes, felt a tear slip from beneath his lashes and trail down his cheek. All these months of angst and anger all because of a few misspoken, misunderstood, words. It would be funny if it wasn’t for the fact that that misunderstanding had nearly ended their marriage and shaken Jensen’s faith in Jared.

“I love you too, Jared, but—”

“I know. I scared you. Trust me when I say I’m not like that. You know in your heart I’m not like that, and I’m going to do my damnedest to show you.”


After that they settled into a routine. Jared would call every night around nine and they would talk. It was a little like when they were dating. Back then they would talk to each other for hours about everything and sometimes nothing at all, just content to hear the other breathing. After each conversation Jensen felt the unease let go a little more. He found himself wondering how Jared looked, if he was taking proper care of himself. Jensen hoped so. Jared had a tendency to ignore things until they became unbearable. Stubborn bastard. It was Jared’s worst character trait, and had played a role in their estrangement, keeping his suspicions to himself, letting them build until they exploded out of him.

“I’m hungry,” Jensen said apropos of nothing a couple of weeks into their nightly talks.

“So eat,” Jared said a hint of laughter in his voice, before he turned serious. “You are eating all right, aren’t you?”

“Yeah. I’m practically a pig. Getting fat now, too.” Jensen was lying back on their bed, shirtless. He had noticed the beginnings of stretch marks the other day. Didn’t seem like the lotion he applied was doing much good in that department.

“Not sure I believe that.”

“Well, you should. Anyway, what I want to eat I don’t got. I’m comfy, plus, my back and feet hurt too much to go out again.”

“Cravings?” Jared asked sounding cautious like he always did when the subject of Jensen’s pregnancy came up. Like he figured he didn’t have a right to ask about how Jensen was feeling or their daughter, which was pretty far from the truth.

“Yeah, came on me all at once. I’m starving for some French fries. Ugh, and strawberry ice cream and chocolate fudge sauce. Sounds so good.” Jensen was salivating. He might rethink that whole ‘not going out again’ thing. “What about you? Are you okay?”

“Yes, Mother, I’m fine.” Typical Jared response. “You know, Jensen, I have an early meeting tomorrow. I should get some sleep. I love you and I’ll call tomorrow.”

Jensen felt a pang. He didn’t want the conversation to end. “Okay. I love you, too, Jared. Sleep good.”

The line went silent and Jensen set his phone on the night stand and plugged it in to charge. He laid down on his side, shoved a pillow between his legs, and started to doze immediately.

The sound of the doorbell jerked back to consciousness, heart rate jacking up a notch in surprise. The clock said it was nearly one in the morning. He lumbered downstairs, intent on chewing his late-night guest a new one. Somebody better be dead or dying. Through the sheer curtains on the door he could make out the all too familiar shape of Jared’s tall lanky frame. His stomach did a happy flip and a smile turned up the corners of his mouth. He flipped the lock and opened the door. He hadn’t realized how much he needed to see his husband until he was standing in front of him. Jared looked a little pale and thinner than he should. Proof positive that, as Jensen suspected, he wasn’t taking care of himself. He had a couple of days worth of scruff on his face, and was dressed in an old t-shirt and ratty loose fitting jeans. He had a greasy bag from WhatABurger in one hand and plastic bag from Tom Thumb’s dangling from the other.

“Delivery!” He chirped with a guarded smile. “French fries and ice cream.”

Jensen stepped forward and hugged him. A moment later Jared’s arms gently enfolded him. “I missed you so much, Jen,” his said in a choked whisper, arms tightening around Jensen. Then abruptly Jared pulled away.

“What?” Jensen asked in confusion.

“Did…I don’t want to hurt the baby.”

Jensen grinned, reaching up to push Jared’s lank hair back from his face. “You’re not going to hurt her.”

Jared’s eyes misted as he gazed at Jensen’s growing belly. “Her,” he said softly.

They stared at each other, the delicious smell of the fries and whatever else Jared had in the bag reached his nostrils. His stomach growled.

“You gonna come in and let me eat my food or not?” He moved aside to let Jared in.

Jared put the ice cream in the freezer—Jensen had instructed Jared to leave the chocolate sauce—as Jensen took out the food from WhatABurger. Jared had gotten a couple burgers and four orders of fries.
Jensen dove right in to those puppies. Dipping several in the fudge and stuffing them in his mouth, moaning at the starchy, rich, chocolaty goodness as he was hit with the semi-orgasmic feeling of having a craving satisfied. When Jared came back in Jensen’s cheeks were protruding like a chipmunks and Jared gave him a serious side-eye complete with forehead crinkles.

“Wha? Your daughter is hungry.” Except he was still chewing, so it sounded more like “Yur dutr uz hrgee.”

Jared smiled his sweet dimpled smile and sat beside Jensen, but not so close that they touched. He reached for a double cheeseburger and conversation was foregone as they ate their food, Jensen blissfully happy with his fries, was content to let Jared devour the burgers, which he did with gusto.

When they were done, Jared asked, “how is she?”

Jensen sat back, put his feet up on the coffee table. “Fine. Seems to like the accommodations. She’s moving more often.”

Jared was quiet for several moments. “What’s…what’s that feel like?”

“Incredible. Little like a tickle, but they are getting stronger.” He took Jared’s hand and laid it on his belly. Their daughter had been quiet today. Jensen hoped she would move so Jared could feel. “Come on, baby, Daddy is here. Give him a little kick.” A few moments passed and Jensen felt her move. He watched as Jared’s eyes widened with wonder as he felt it, too.

“She…! She did it! That’s amazing!” Jared’s smile would make the sun look dim. “She’s healthy and everything?”

Jensen smiled. “Yeah. Dr. McCoy said everything looks real good.” Jensen paused, thinking. He licked his lips. “I have an appointment next week. You wanna come with me?”

Jared’s expression was as if Jensen had given him a fortune in diamonds. “Yes, very much.”

* * *


Jared arrived early to pick Jensen up for his OB/Andro appointment. He looked better, more color in his face, clean shaven, looking relaxed and suave in black slacks and a pale pink open-throated silk shirt showed off some of the hair on his chest and smelling yummy as ever. Jensen figured he would have passed the horny part of pregnancy, but Jared just revved his engines—always had. As Jensen climbed into the passenger seat of Jared’s Charger he saw his husband’s nostrils flare, picking up on the scent of Jensen’s interest. “You got a car seat?” Jensen said noticing the carrier positioned in the back seat.

“Well, yeah.” Jared shrugged. He closed the door and strode around to the driver’s side. He dropped into the seat, started the car. “Gonna need one when the baby comes.”

As Jared drove they talked about the goings on at Padalecki Advertising. The Kripke campaign had successfully launched, Lauren Cohan had finally approved the art for her company’s new cosmetics line, and Jeff Morgan’s J&J Insurance had signed with the company. Jensen was glad to hear that as he wasn’t sure he had made the best impression on the man and his partner during their meeting. Jared also informed him that Chad Murray had been named interim CFO wile Jensen was on paternity leave. While Jensen liked Chad well enough he thought he lacked the seasoning that came with the title.

“Don’t worry, Jensen, I won’t let him get too comfortable in your office.” Jared winked as he turned into the parking lot of the clinic that housed Dr. McCoy’s practice.

“Better not.”

Jared parked the car and shut off the engine. “Feels weird being here,” Jared said looking at the inconspicuous white building with the trickling fountain in front.

“Why? You’ve been here with me before.”

He shrugged. “Not in awhile. Your doctor is gonna think I’m a jerk who left you when you were pregnant…which I am I guess.” He sighed, a regretful sound and ran a hand through his hair.

“Extenuating circumstances, Jared.” He took Jared’s hand locking their fingers together.

The lines of tension around Jared’s eyes and mouth relaxed. He hesitated for a second before pressing a kiss to Jensen’s cheek, giving a shy smile. He looked so much like the boy Jensen had met and fallen in love with near a decade ago. It made Jensen’s heart quiver.

They entered the waiting area of Dr. McCoy’s office holding hands, shoulders brushing. There were two other couples, a male Beta and female Omega, and male Alpha and female Beta. Jensen recognized them but didn’t know their names.

Jared signed Jensen in at reception while Jensen took a seat. He was grateful as his feet and ankles are starting to bother him more these days. As he sat down and started to thumb through a magazine the urge to pee hit him. That had also started happening more frequently. As bad as he needed to go he should probably wait. Dr. McCoy would most likely want a sample.

Jared sat down beside Jensen, took his hand, thumb brushing across the bones of Jensen’s wrist. He slouched in the little chair. Jensen suppressed a smile, a little self conscious of being the tallest guy in the room. One long leg rested over the opposite knee. Jensen’s gaze drifted down to the crotch of Jared’s slacks, biting his lip at the soft bulge there. Oh God, if he kept staring he was gonna wind up with wet pants, he felt himself starting to slick up. He swallowed and tore his gaze away, noticed Jared staring at him, pupils widening.

“Jensen, you wanna come on back?” Sophia held the door open that lead back to the exam rooms.

Jensen pushed to his feet, that took a bit more effort now, and followed the nurse down the hall. “Don’t think we’ve met,” Sophia said smiling at Jared. She stopped at a scale, motioned for Jensen to get on.

“That’s my husband Jared.” Jensen stepped up on the scale.
Jensen stood on the scale watching as the number kept climbing. Soon he would be big as a house. He wondered if he would get his body back, the body he had worked so hard for, the body that turned Jared on. How would he have time to get back into shape with an infant daughter? He supposed other people did it and he could do it, too.

Sophia wrote down Jensen’s weight and they continued on to an exam room. With Jared’s help Jensen got situated on the exam tabled. As Jared took a seat on the small, uncomfortable-looking plastic chair, Dr. McCoy came in.

“Ah, Mr. Padalecki, good to see you.” She extended a hand.

Jared stood and shook it. “Thanks. Glad to be here.”

The doctor opened Jensen’s file, brown eyes skimming over his chart. “Seems like you’ve gained eight pounds since your last appointment.” There was a rending sound as she unfurled the blood pressure cuff. Jensen extended his arm and the room was quiet as his blood pressure was taken.

“Blood pressure looks good,” Dr. McCoy said, the blood pressure valve hissing as the air was let out. “Lower than it has been.” Her gaze drifted over to Jared. “How have you been feeling? Any complaints?”

Jensen shook his head. “Nah. Just kinda tired and achy. Had heartburn the other day.”

“You put chocolate sauce on French fries, Jensen,” Jared interjected, face twisting in distaste.

“Shuddup. Was good.” He grinned. Fries sounded really good right about now.

Dr. McCoy was smiling a warm smile at their exchange. “Wanna lean back and lift up your shirt?”

Jensen did as instructed, feeling self-conscious about Jared seeing his belly. Jared’s expression was soft and fond as Dr. McCoy took a measurement of his swollen abdomen with a tape measure.

“What…” Jared’s voice was soft, uncertain. “What are you doing that for?”

“To track Fundal height. Keep track to see how your baby is growing and if it’s on schedule.”

“Is it…she?”

Dr. McCoy made a note in Jensen’s chart. “She is. Jensen is having a very typical pregnancy. Now we’re going to take a peek.”

Jared’s face lit with joy. He stood and took Jensen’s hand as Dr. McCoy powered up the ultrasound. She squeezed the clear gel on Jensen’s stomach and spread it with the transducer. For once Jensen was not looking at the monitor as his daughter came into focus. He watched Jared, watched his mouth fall open and eyes mist in wonder as he saw their daughter for the first time and her rapid heartbeat filled the room. Jensen squeezed his hand as a wave of guilt washed over him. He had deprived Jared of so many little moments like this. He thought of the baby book he had been keeping with all the sonogram pictures in it. He would show that to Jared.

“What are you looking for?”

Dr. McCoy was quiet as she moved the transducer around. “Heart rate is within normal rage, and strong. This is the placenta,” she indicated an oval blob on the monitor, “this is the umbilical cord. Both look normal, no twisting or anything. This is her head and you can see her hands and legs. She seems to be sleeping right now.”

“Sleeping?” Jared asked.

“Yes. At this age babies wake and sleep regularly. Are you keeping track of her movements, Jensen?”

“Only started to.”

“It’s important he do that?” Jared asked, eyes still glued to the ultrasound monitor.

“It is. Changes in sleep/wake cycles and differences in mobility tendencies could be the sign of a compromised baby.”

“And Jensen’s fine?”

“I’m right here, Jared.” Jensen said, in a tone of amusement.

“I was a little worried about his blood pressure being elevated these past few months, but its back down to normal now and none of his urine tests indicate gestational diabetes or protein spillage. He and your baby are very healthy. Are there any other questions I can answer for either of you?”

Jensen shook his head. “I can’t seem to think of any,” Jared said.

Dr. McCoy handed Jensen the sonogram picture and powered down the machine. “You’re in the home stretch now, Jensen. Make sure you have a birth plan and that Jared, or any other person you want with you, knows it, and pack your things for the hospital. I’d like to get a urine sample and you’re free to go, but I want to see you back in three weeks. As you get closer to your due date I’ll want to see you every week.”

After the appointment Jensen made Jared stop at a WhatABurger for more or their awesome fries. Jared watched equal parts disgusted and fascinated as Jensen dipped his fries into his chocolate shake.

“Don’t judge. Your daughter wants what she wants.” Jensen stuffed more of the fries into his mouth, chewing contentedly. “Do you have to get back to work right away? I have something I’d like to show you.”

“Sure. I cleared my schedule today.”

Jensen got another order of fries to go and Jared drove them back to the house.

He swung his Charger into the driveway and put it in park. After killing the engine, he helped Jensen out of the car and into the house.

“I’m gonna get something from upstairs. Wait for me on the couch.”

“’Kay.” Jared kissed his cheek before he left the foyer and went into the living room.

Jensen climbed the steps and went into their bedroom to retrieve their daughter’s baby book. When he came back downstairs Jared was sprawled on the couch with casual elegance. He had turned the television on and cracked a beer. Jensen watched him for a few moments. He missed Jared’s presence in the house, in his life. Sometimes Jensen thought he was ready to ask Jared to come back home. He wasn’t sure what was holding him back. A stupid misunderstanding, a few misspoken words, and one angry outburst in near a decade hardly seemed worth all the angst. That outburst had badly shaken Jensen’s faith in Jared and he was rebuilding it. In a way it was like falling in love all over again—not that he had ever fallen out of love with Jared, more like falling deeper. He remembered all the things he loved about him: his keen intelligence, his wicked sense of humor, his penchant for mischief, his over-attachment to fictional characters, even his off-key but passionate singing.

Jensen came into the living room and Jared’s face lit up with that beautiful dimpled smile. Jensen sat beside him, thigh to shoulder. He laid the book on their legs and opened it. He was silent as Jared flipped through the pages. The first part of the book was like a pregnancy diary where Jensen wrote his complaints, his hopes, and fears. Every sonogram picture so far was inside, along with the date and time and the baby’s vital information.

“I’ve missed so much.” Jared touched the last sonogram picture, voice soft, hurt.

“I know, and I’m sorry.”

“We’re both at fault. I thought I was saying the right thing, but I fucked up big time.”

“I shouldn’t have hid it from you.” They had suffered one hell of a communication breakdown, but Jensen was hopeful they could move past it now. He breathed in, smelling Jared’s shampoo and citrusy cologne but underneath was the musky scent of his Alpha. His gaze shifted to Jared’s mouth, so pink and soft-looking. It had been months since he’d felt them pressed against his own. His heart jumped up into his throat as he leaned in. He shouldn’t be doing this. Their relationship was in limbo, not back together but not estranged either, but Jensen wanted a taste of what used to be and would be again.

“Jen?”

“I’mma kiss you.” He informed and pressed his lips to Jared’s in a sweet kiss.

Jensen cupped Jared’s cheek, gently tilted his head to deepen the kiss. Tongue licking over the seam of Jared’s lips. Jared groaned, a helpless sound, and opened his mouth to Jensen’s tongue. Their tongues slid together slow and lazy at first, but turning wet, messy, and urgent. Jensen’s cock grew hard and he began to leak slick. Jared’s arms came around him, Jensen sank into him. He worked a hand beneath Jared’s shirt, fingers playing with the patch of hair covering his chest.

Jared broke the kiss, panting, eyes dark with desire. He unbuttoned his shirt and stripped out of it. Jensen moaned at the sight of that gently tanned skin and the lean powerful muscles of his arms and chest. Their mouths met in another heated kiss. Jensen’s hands roamed all across Jared’s shoulders and back, down his arms. Jared kissed along Jensen’s jaw, down his throat, nuzzled Jensen’s neck, kissing the spot near his ear that always made Jensen shiver.

“Smell so good, baby. Are you slick? Bet you are.” Jared’s voice was a dark molasses drawl curling around Jensen. His hand moved over Jensen’s belly in a soothing caress. “Look so gorgeous like this.”

Jared slid onto the floor on his knees, spread Jensen’s legs with his shoulders. He palmed the swell of Jensen’s belly, pushed up his shirt, and pressed kisses to the skin. “My baby growing in you, getting big and strong. She’s gonna be beautiful, Jensen. Like you.”

Jensen suppressed a smile, laced his fingers through Jared’s hair. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

“Nah. I’m big and clumsy. You are lithe, graceful, and beautiful. She’ll be like you.” Jared’s hands went to the button and zipper of Jensen’s jeans. He looked up at Jensen hunger and need in his gaze. How he could look at Jensen like that while Jensen was so big was beyond him. He inhaled, Jared’s musky scent of arousal spiked Jensen’s blood. “Can I, Jen, baby? Can I taste you?”

Jensen’s heart thumped triple time in his chest. He bit his lip, nodded, as heat washed over him.

Jared’s fingers made quick work of his button and fly. Jensen lifted his hips and Jared tugged his jeans and underwear. He wasted no time, gripping the base of Jensen’s aching hard cock and taking him deep, sucking in long slow strokes, tongue dragging across the crown, teasing the slit, before swallowing him back down.

Jensen didn’t know if it’s the pregnancy hormones or because he had missed Jared’s so much, but when Jensen shot, he went off like a rocket. His body locked up. His mouth fell open on a loud cry, pleasure more intense than anything he has ever felt before zinged through him, Jared swallowed everything Jensen had to give.

When he came back to himself Jared had his cock out, squeezing the knot with one hand while the other was a blur as it moved over his length. Jensen was wrung out, blissed out, limp as a cooked noodle, or he would help. He watched Jared pleasure himself, gazes locked, Jared’s eyes dark. “Say my name, Jen,” Jared panted, staring at Jensen with unabashed lust. “Say my name.”

“Jared,” Jensen whispers.

Jared came with a shuddering groan. Ropes of hot sticky jizz splashed up his chest and neck, flowing over his hand dripping down his wrist. He kept cumming, each burst subsequently weaker until he was dry, knot still swollen.

“You okay?” Jared asked, tucking his semi-hard cock away.

Jensen sighed, nodded. “Mmm-hmm.” He felt relaxed and heavy with sleep. He heard the clink of Jared’s belt buckle, rasp of the zipper as Jared put himself back together. He sat next to Jensen, arm around his shoulders. Jensen laid his head on Jared’s shoulder and closed his eyes, listening to his breathing. The scent of musk, semen, and sweat strong but comforting because it belonged to Jared. Sweet and patient Jared, the one who had shown him how good it could be to be taken by an Alpha, that an Alpha could be patient and tender, and teach him that not all Alphas were jerks. It was on the tip of his tongue to ask Jared to say, to come back home, but before he could, Jared lifted him off the couch, bridal style.

“Whoa!” Jensen exclaimed, the strength of the Alpha catching him by surprise. “What are you doing?”

“Putting you to bed before you pass out on the couch.” Not sounding the least bit strained as he ascended the stairs. “Not sleepin’ on the couch.”

“Wasn’t sleepin’. Was restin’ my eyes,” he argued but it wasn’t the truth. He tired easily these days and that orgasm had taken it out of him. He could do with a good sleep.

Jared just gave a low laugh.

He laid Jensen in the middle of their big bed, got him out of his clothes and into a pair of soft sleep pants. Jensen glanced at the clock, it was still early.

“I’ll call tomorrow. Night, Jensen.” Jared kissed him softly on the mouth and tucked the blankets around him before he departed.


Jensen’s mood was foul as he trudged down the stairs. Some asshole was leaning on the fucking doorbell. The fucking chimes echoed though the house like Big fucking Ben, and it was barely seven o’clock in the goddamn morning. Despite being tired as hell most days he was having trouble sleeping, a combination of bad dreams and not able to get comfortable, and having to piss every damn hour. Jensen was due in five weeks and he was sick of being pregnant.

When he reached the door, that damn stairway seemed to be getting steeper and longer every day, he wrenched it open, intent on kicking whoever’s ass up between their shoulders. Who he saw on the other side of the door were a few somebodies. Jared was grinning and behind him stood Jason, along with Tom and Mike Welling. Jensen exhaled, mouth falling open in surprise. Jason had moved to Huston after college, but he and Jensen stayed in regular contact, but it had been years since he had seen Tom and Mike. They had moved out to LA when Tom went to Med school and Mike had followed him.

“Oh my God!” He reached out and hugged Jason.

“Jen-sen!” Mike howled and reached forward to embrace him.

“I can’t believe it,” Jensen said flabbergasted hugging his old friend. Jensen and Jason hung around Tom and Mike less and less as they entered junior high and on to high school. The two Omegas naturally quiet dispositions were just not compatible with the two Alphas, but they remained cordial and stayed in touch with them through the occasional email and Facebook. He knew Tom was a cardiologist at UCLA Medical and Mike was an architect. They had been married for six years and had two adopted children, but seeing them again was incredible.

“How are you?” Tom asked giving Jensen a gentle hug after Mike.

“Pregnant.”

“Kinda hard to miss that,” Mike quipped patting Jensen’s belly.

“What are ya’ll doing here?” Jensen asked. He couldn’t keep the huge smile off his face.

“Ask your husband. He kidnapped us from the airport,” Mike said.

“He arranged for us to come visit you,” Tom said, putting an arm around Mike’s shoulders. “But he didn’t tell us what we were going to be doing.”

Everyone turned their attention to Jared, who had been standing back from the four friends while they got reacquainted.

“Well, Jen is due soon and I wanted him to have one last awesome day out before our daughter comes. Y’all are going to Austin to the Milk + Honey Spa and Salon for the works. And after you’re gonna have a private lunch at Flemings Steakhouse.” They turned as the heard an approaching engine. A stretch Lincoln MKT pulled to a stop out front. “Chauffeured in luxury, of course. All you have to do is relax and have a good time with your friends. I know you’d probably rather hit the links or do some boating but Dr. McCoy advised against it.”

“Are you coming with us?” Jensen asked.

Jared shook his head. “Nah. I have some things here to take care of. I want you to have the best time, okay?”


Jensen arrived back home just after four in the afternoon, tired but in high spirits. He had been pampered to a pulp at the spa. He had gotten an awesome prenatal massage that actually helped alleviate some of his back pain, a manicure and pedicure, a facial, and even got a haircut and style, shaved up the back and sides but spiked on top with blond highlights. He felt like a new man. The private lunch at Flemings Steakhouse had been fantastic and he had even indulged in a small glass of wine. It was like old times with Jason, Tom, and Mike, joking and ribbing each other.

Jensen entered the house to find Jared sacked out on the sofa. It didn’t bother Jensen that he was here, this was Jared’s home as well and Jensen had already decided that he was going to ask Jared to come home. He waddled over to the couch and gazed down at his husband who looked exhausted. His lips were parted slightly, chest rising and falling in deep even breaths, features relaxed. Jensen’s brows knitted in a frown as he saw splatters of something in Jared’s hair. He reached out to touch, investigate, but Jared’s eyes blinked open.

“Oh, hey.” He sat up stifling a yawn, stretching. “I’m lovin’ this sassy haircut,” Jared, stood, reached out and ran his fingers through what was left of Jensen’s hair. “That blond is workin’ for you. You look hot, Jensen. So you had a nice time?”

Jensen felt light years away from hot but when Jared said it Jensen couldn’t help but believe it. “It was awesome, Jared. Thank you so much. Being with the guys was so much fun. I hadn’t realized how much I missed them.”

Jared had a faint blush coloring his cheeks. “I was happy to do it, but I’m afraid it was a ruse. I needed you out of the house for a few hours while I worked on the real surprise.”

A huff of incredulous laughter escaped Jensen. “What?” If that wasn’t the real surprise he couldn’t imagine what was.

Jared took Jensen’s had and led him to the stairs. “What did you do?” Jensen was a little short of breath as he climbed the stairs, and it felt like their daughter was doing a little jig on Jensen’s bladder.

Jared didn’t answer, smiled mysteriously and stopped in front of the door to the spare room. “Hope you like it,” he said and pushed the door open.

Jensen was struck dumb for the second time that day. On numb legs he crossed the threshold and stepped into the room—nursery. The walls were soft buttery yellow with decals of baby Winnie the Pooh characters playing with blocks on one wall, a matching border running around the center of the wall and a big, stuffed Winnie the Pooh bear sat in the corner. The carpet was a plush eggshell white and so soft Jensen wanted to take his shoes off and squish his toes in the deep pile. There was a gorgeous cherry wood crib, with matching changing table, dresser, armoire, and rocking chair.

“You did this all this today?”

“I had someone come in and install the carpet, but otherwise…yeah. I saw that you had bought some bedding stuff and ran with that theme. Is it too much? Did I overstep?”

Jensen swallowed thickly. “No. It’s perfect. Everything is perfect. It’s exactly what I wanted.”

Jensen walked over to the dresser and opened a drawer. Inside neatly folded were all the little clothes Jensen had bought. The changing table was stocked with diapers, wipes, a wipe warmer, baby oil, powder, and diaper rash cream. There were packages and packages of diapers, bottles, formula, pacifiers, nipples, teething rings, four other sets of sheets were neatly stored in the armoire. He sat down in the rocking chair, petting his belly. He couldn’t believe Jared had done all this. Jensen had been starting to stress about not having the nursery ready in time for the baby’s arrival and now everything was taken care of and perfect.

“This looks like the stuff I picked out a Babies R Us but it’s not quite the same,” Jensen noted.

“I’m sure Babies R Us offers nice furniture, but my daughter gets only the best, and this is the best. That crib will even turn into a toddler bed when its time.”

Jensen didn’t want to think how much Jared might have spent furnishing the nursery. It didn’t matter. What mattered was the meaning behind the gesture. Jensen got to his feet, with some effort. “Jare, I miss you so much and I want you to come back home before the baby is born.”

“To stay?” Jared asked, resting a hand on Jensen’s big belly, their daughter kicking and punching her approval.

Jensen nodded. “To stay.”


Epilogue



 
 
I'm : good
At : Abilene TX
 
 
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